Tempers, Tantrums, and That’s Not Fairs!

There are a few people in this world that I love more than anyone else.  My children. (My husband,too, but this one’s about my kids.)  It’s getting late and the tempers and tantrums are flying.  The “That’s Not Fair!” one is the worst.  Every parent out there does things to or for their kids that they think is best despite what the child thinks.  If they don’t then there may be a question as to how much that child is loved.   Once in a while the parent has to be the bad guy instead of the friend.  Parent first, friend second.  Almost sixteen year olds seem to think they know everything there is to know, or at least mine does.  I remember being 15, my husband remembers being 15 and we remember when his sister was 15…  That time can be very hazardous to the health, of parents.  I had a less than savory boyfriend at the time, not a relationship I’m proud of.  He spoke great.  He was extraordinarily wonderful when he wanted to be.  He owned me, I ran over him with my car and I was proud of it. (I guess I was 16 by then.)  My mom ended up getting a visit by the police because she hit him… It wasn’t exactly the best of times.  I moved cross-country three years later to get away from him.  So when I see my daughter spending an inordinately large amount of time texting a young boy, who I haven’t met and who she barely knows, at all hours of the day and night… well then, actions have consequences.   Mind, she’ll be mad at me for a while, but I think she’ll survive and I know she’ll be a stronger, better person for it.

Tantrum wise, this award goes to the three-year old.  I think a couple of weeks ago I finally realized how badly spoiled she was becoming.  She doesn’t take no for an answer and if it doesn’t go like she wants it she goes for the other parent.  It is really beginning to get old.  Last night she woke up at 4 AM and was crying because she was hungry.  (I have no doubt she probably was because she didn’t eat well yesterday) She wouldn’t be consoled by me with a little bit of milk or water to get her through the night.  Instead she started screaming for her daddy, who happened to be up on a call for work.  I don’t know about you but I don’t do very well at 4 AM.  I tried to reason with her, she is 3, so I’m not sure what I was thinking.  Finally she got what she wanted, her daddy.  She drank some apple juice and came back to bed.  Tonight she decided to pitch another fit, and even though she didn’t get exactly what she wanted, she did get the attention she wanted and so will likely repeat the entire mess.  They say the youngest is always spoiled. I’m hoping “they” are wrong.

That’s enough for now, thanks for reading,

w

Books? What about ’em?

What makes a book good? Why do you say to others “that was a great book! You should read it?”. Were the characters alive to you? Did the author’s descriptions make it seem real? Is it because you “agree” with what the author is trying to say? Or because you learned something you wanted to learn?
There are some books I pick up and I can’t make it through the first two or three chapters because I can’t stand the writing style. I find myself gravitating towards books whose words are multisyllabic (not just one or two syllables), lately. I absolutely loved reading the books by Ann Rand. (The Fountainhead is good but Atlas Shrugged is better.)So much so that I used her last name as my password for the computer for several months. (My kids took that long to crack it). I like a little bit of Ann Coulter, but her sarcasm is a bit repetitive from one book to the next. Though one thing I like a lot about her is that she uses some of the most wonderful insults. I had to keep a running list of words to learn while reading her. That was fun!  One of my all time favorites is Don Quixote. Don Quixote and I were lovers for almost a year before I finished with him. I cried at the end, I hated to see him go. Oh how loving and meaningful that story was! If you haven’t read it try to see the world as he sees it. He’s a knight in shining armor trying to save the world.  I have never been able to finish Moby Dick.  I just think it’s not going to happen.  Melville and I just don’t get along.  Please just keep to the story, I don’t need the lesson every other chapter.  No one has yet convinced me to try again.

Currently I’m reading David Copperfield by Charles Dickens, and the Song of Hiawatha by Longfellow.  I LOVE Hiawatha.  The words, the rhythm, the entire poem is wonderful.  I’m hoping to find a good audio of it when I’m done so I can enjoy it again.  David Copperfield and I are still trying to figure things out.  I haven’t quite decided if I like it or not.  I’m nearly through and I still feel that way.  It’s a diary of David’s life and it’s very mundane in the beginning.  As I approach the end there seems to actually be a plot to the story.  So, for now, I’ll finish the book but I don’t think I’ll pick it up again.

I’ve read the Constitution of the United States and its amendments.  I’ve read the Federalist Papers too.  Reading these I think should be a must for everyone.  The Federalist Papers really pull things together and tell you why the founders wrote the constitution the way they did.  They were pretty smart guys it seems and they actually knew what they were talking about.  For instance, the big conflict on slavery and how the blacks should be counted for census.  So many people like to argue that was because the founders believed they “were worth less than white people”  Quite the contrary.  It was a compromise because if the South was allowed to count all the blacks (who still weren’t allowed to vote) then slavery was destined to remain in the United States.  Not counting them at all would mean the South wouldn’t join the States.  We, the country, needed unity not division.  The founders knew this and thus today we have no slavery.  (no sanctioned slavery anyway.)

What do you think?  What’s your favorite book and why?  There are so many other wonderful books I have read, I just can’t write it all down.  Thanks for reading! Ciao.

w

Why “Winkingbees”? Bees and other stuff

I thought tonight I’d explain how my name came about. Wink is a childhood name that I think started with my brother. He still calls me wink. I chose to keep that name through college when I was on the vax computer boards. I remember spending hours talking through the vax machines with my husband to be. We had sort of a digital romance, mixed with other encounters. My husband P was/is my brother’s best friend. One of the funny things I remember was I was always available for a free lunch. I had guys asking me to lunch all the time. P then started asking me to lunch. Being naive like I was I’d say yes, and then during lunch he’d ask me to lunch for the next day. It got to be so often that we did lunch that the other guys who asked me started wondering why I kept saying no to them. (P had already asked)… The truth is I never had a chance. P played me well. 🙂

Why Bees?  This was pretty obvious.  I’m a beekeeper.  I love bees.  Honey bees have interested me a long time.  About five or six years ago I took a class on beekeeping, won some free bees, bought some bees and never looked back.  As an insect, bees undergo a full metamorphosis.  So they’re great for teaching science to little ones (remember I homeschool).  There are three types of bees in a given hive.  The queen, the workers and the drones.  Interestingly enough (at least to me) the queen and the workers are genetically identical.  By that I mean there is nothing genetically  different required to make a worker a queen.  There is still genetic variances between them of course.  What makes a queen a queen is merely environmental.  Queens get fed royal jelly the entire time they are a larvae while workers only get royal jelly for a few days ( I think three).  Drones are the double x equivalent of humans.  But they are boys and not girls.  I love the drones.  They have no stinger.  And it’s quite fun to say that they act like some men.  They don’t help feed the young, they don’t clean, nor collect pollen, nor nectar.  In fact every winter they get kicked out of the hive and are left to starve.

So why winkingbees?  I’m “wink” and I love bees.  Simple enough.  I didn’t even think about the name more than a few minutes.   Thanks bunches for sharing my life with me! Later.

w

Money, Debt?

I suppose what’s on everyone’s mind lately is debt. Will the United States of America default on its debts or end up not paying its military or elderly and leave people to starve? All good questions. Just off hand I don’t think anything of the kind will happen. The way families everywhere behave towards debt, or I say “should” behave towards debt, might just be the best way for our government to behave. In my house debt is bad, unwanted, and causes way too much tension. I grew up in a family that was pretty much ok with debt. My husband as well. We went to college together and racked up our own debts paying for college, and many, many other things we didn’t really need. When we graduated and started a family we were already well over fifty thousand dollars in the hole. I hope and pray to teach my children that debt is not the only answer. College is important, extremely. Having a degree, any degree, shows future employers you can stick with something and finish it, it shows them that you can think too. What I’m trying to say is that there must be a better way. Back on topic, debt is just another word for slavery. If I don’t pay my mortgage, I lose the house. If I don’t pay my student loans, they can take the money from the bank, and I won’t be able to buy groceries. If I owe a friend money, yes still a debt, I am no longer just a friend but a debtor. There is tension there that wasn’t there before. Now the friendship is on rocky ground.
One thing a family has to do is decide how to pay the bills. For some few, its no big deal, there’s always money left over at the end of the month. For many others there’s too much month left over at the end of the money. My family has found itself much more often with too much month. It doesn’t matter how much a family brings in, if we spend more than we have we eventually have to pay the consequences. Repossessions or late fees, or bad credit scores, or annoying creditor calls, foreclosures, all these things happen to all of us if we don’t pay what’s due. Why not congress? Who gave them permission to spend money they don’t have? If I don’t have it I can’t spend it. So I eat at home more, do Chinese take-out less. I make ends meet. Congress should at least do better than that.

So how should we be with our money when it runs out too fast?  Sometimes your hole is just too big to get out of, what do you do then?  First things first, what’s important?  Know what you spend your money on, and decide what’s important.  A house over your head?  Heating, and AC, water and gas?  Food?  These things are absolutely necessary.  Pay for these things first.  Cable TV?  Internet? Magazine subscriptions?  Golfing? Eating out?  Maybe you should reconsider their importance.  My family gave up Direct Tv.  You know what?  We watch more than we did before.  We rent movies at the dollar kiosks, and download shows off of the internet and connect the computer to the TV.  It was kind of scary but it’s turned out really well and we’re saving almost a hundred dollars a month.  Eating out is another thing that really bites us in the butt.  We love to eat out.  So we limit ourselves now.  Not as much fun, I miss eating out more, but we’re eating healthier.  We’ve lost weight too.  If I could just figure out how to save more on gas I’d be happier.  The gas prices are just plain annoying.  It costs almost $85 to fill up my minivan…  That gets old fast.  Any one with ideas on that sure would help me.

Ok, well, thanks for listening world,

w

Treated like a Queen

Today was a new day. We had a few places to go so I didn’t get to find out what it’d be like to be home 3 days in a row. We had music lessons at 2:30, and then I went home and changed to go to Carrabbas with my sister. Change is an understatement. I don’t wear make up, dressing up usually means jeans without holes, and a nice shirt and clean shoes. So tonight I put on makeup (it took me a while to actually find it and then a few moments to remember how to put it all on). I’m so out of practice but the end result was at least pretty good. Put on a shirt from the closet that wouldn’t have fit me well 6 months ago (I’ve lost 10 pounds), put on some slacks I don’t think I’ve worn for over a year, some nice shoes and left. I drove to my sis’s house so she could drive us to Carrabbas. I don’t mind giving them a little shout out because I’ve never experienced quite the service I got tonight. Sis is a part of the “amici” club and tonight they had a wine tasting, theoretically served with a few appetizers. They greeted us at the door, and welcomed us to the bar as if we were the only ones there. Sat us down, talked with us like we were family and then started to serve us some wine. We tried four different wines, two red and two white, ate some calamari, some fried zucchini sticks, and some bruschetta (sp?). That was wonderful but that wasn’t where they stopped. After they were sure everyone who was coming had arrived and had those wines and appetizers, they moved us to a large long table and sat all 16 or so of us down for dinner. I can’t even remember the names of the dishes. They served us some chicken marsala and something else chicken, another glass of red and another glass of white wine to go with it so we could experience how wine and food can work together. Delicious. Then when done, our dishes were removed and replaced with a lovely chocolate based desert and some port. We went home well satisfied and thoroughly spoiled. We didn’t spend a dime, not one cent. This was a service, a very good one, probably to boost Carrabbas. Such as my free advertising in my blog.
The best thing of all, though the food and wine were great, was not the food at all. The best thing is that the servers treated us like we were real live human beings with value. The simple touch on the shoulder, the hand shake, the many many times they brushed against us to serve us, these are the things that make a person feel alive and feel worthy. Every person there was touched in some way, physical contact. I truly believe that is the most important part of the entire process. People like to be real, like to know that they exist to another person and touch is one of the best ways to do that. When is the last time you touched the ones that you love and care about? Do they know that they are real and important and worthy of your attention? Is your partner willing to touch you? Every day in a loving, I know your there, non sexual way? Or do you drift by each other barely even noticing or acknowledging the other person? Every one has heard that your actions speak louder than words, this is so true. A husband or father who hits or abuses his wife or children is teaching them a lot about worth and touch. Those children grow up and expect to be hit or abused allowing a cycle of violence to continue. However, growing up with a simple peaceful touch from a father or mother teaches that worth doesn’t have to hurt or have punishments.

Now I’m home resting on my bed recounting a part of my day.  Just some random thoughts put down in the emptiness of the internet probably never to be read but it still gives me peace to write and hopefully a chance to rest my brain from all the activity so I can sleep tonight.  Good night world.  May God bless you and keep you,

w

The first blog

being home… I’ve been home all day. This is something very unusual for me. Yesterday I was home all day as well and so having two days at home, not going anywhere, not going to dance, or scouts, or to my dad’s, or to the store, just home. Not getting in the car, Not carting the kids around… This is just plain weird for me. So why am I blogging. I’ve almost found myself bored. I tell the kids that only boring people get bored and I refuse to fall into the boring category. Also I’ve wanted sort of a diary of my time, it seems to go by way too fast. My kids are 15, 13, 9, and 3. We’ve been homeschooling since my oldest was 5 and none of my kids have ever been in public school. Don’t go thinking I’m ultra religous or a bit crazy, (well maybe a little crazy). We homeschool because we can and we don’t particularily like the public, government school system. Conservative yes, Christian yes, but homeschool due to the better student teacher ratio, better academics, more family time, etc…
So if we homeschool how come I’m not usually home two days in a row? Daughter child has dance and venture crew, and lots and lots of friends, 2 sons have scouts and the little one is in nothing yet. I’m looking forward for big C to get her license this September, it will free me up more, and I won’t have any idea what to do with the extra time.

A little about me, I’ll be 39 next week, which is interesting because I was 38 for two years but doing the math figured out I’ll be turning 39 unfortunately the same day as President O.  I keep bees for fun and sell my honey if I don’t give it away.  I started keeping bees about 5 or 6 years ago because I was highly interested in the problems they were having.  I own 7 or 8 hives and pulled close to 10 gallons of honey this summer.  I homeschool, but I already said that….If you’re interested though I use the Robinson Curriculum and the kids and I are doing great with it.  We own a few animals, 3 goats, six dogs, and seven chickens.  The goats are being used to help clear our land.  We have 14 acres but can only get on about 2 of them.  There’s just too many briars.  We have signed up for a prescribed burn but that hasn’t happened yet. (the waiting list was two years!) 

Enough of that for now,

talk at you world later