Reality?

“Reality is everyday. There is no coming back to reality, you’re already there.” Sage advice I received a few weeks ago. Every moment I’m alive I’m real. My thoughts at the moment are real thoughts, my feelings are real, whether I’m alone or on vacation or doing laundry it is reality. I can change what I think or how I act and that can change how I feel. I can see things from a different view-point if I ask or try. I can affect my future by how I perceive reality in my present. It’s my choice.

I’m a bit of a roller coaster when it comes to how I feel and how I act. I must totally drive my husband crazy. Some times it’s very physical where I have so much energy in me that I can’t seem to be still let alone sit down. I can accomplish so much when I feel like that. When I’m on my “high” I have high hopes and high dreams, extreme disappointments. I feel so extremely alive, anything or anyone around me who doesn’t fit with my mood just makes me want to run. I’m able to handle anything and the world looks full of possibilities. If I’m not careful I could easily ruin my life and my family when I’m in one of those moods. My thoughts run wild. The “coming down to reality” is when I realize my mood degrades. My energy disperses and I’m “low”. When I’m low, life is dreary and has no meaning. I can’t stand to do anything. I don’t get to sit around and quit though. I physically want to rest or sleep, sometimes I’m dizzy. Reality is that I have up days and down days and that it’s all ok. I’m grateful that I have more up days than down days and most of my days are some where in the middle. I do look so forward to the high energy days though. They are so much fun.

Reality isn’t actually bad. I have been extremely blessed. I’m mostly healthy, my kids are healthy, my husband has a job. The bills can be paid and there’s no lack of food on our table. We have a house with a roof on top and we have renters in the house we can’t sell. We have no lack of clothes and we can let our kids do things that we didn’t get to do when we were young. Reality is that I’m one of the luckiest women I know. My children love me and respect me and my husband finds me beautiful. I get to be home with the children and to take them to music lessons and dance lessons and to scouts. I could have to work from 8-6 everyday and be so tired and worn out at the end that I’d never get anything done in the house or do anything with the kids. Yes, I am blessed. Blessed beyond measure.

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