In this dream I am driving a car and continue to keep looking behind me. I can tell I’m going fast, I feel my foot pushing the gas all the way down. I’m going too fast but I’m running from something/someone behind me. I come upon a curve over a dam. The car doesn’t make it. As my car and I go careening over the edge of the dam I can control the fall enough to miss the rushing water fall and land in a boat on the smooth water at the bottom. I’m fine, the car is now a boat, and I wake up.
Thoughts… One – I’m going too fast. I need to slow down but I don’t. Am I being chased? Maybe but regardless I’m going too fast. Life right now? Yeah, it’s moving fast but it also seems to be moving quite a bit too slowly as well. I’m still waiting for a signature from the ex. I worry about losing the opportunity to purchase the house I want. I worry about not being able to sell this one or move or anything. I worry about being stuck like this forever.
Two – I go over the edge. I should have died, would have if it was real. Instead, I land on smooth water in a boat. I’m safe, there’s no one after me and it’s all ‘smooth sailing’ from here. Maybe this is my faith that everything will eventually work out. Maybe this means I really am going to be okay when everything’s said and done.
So what else could it mean? My life is hectic but I am finding moments of peace each day. I do want to get this move finally behind us and I am still on the timeline I set out to be on, at least so far. Is there anything chasing me? Maybe, maybe not. I’m safer than I used to be but then again I’ve ‘poked the bear’ which could mean I’m not quite as safe as I imagine. I’m insisting on moving, I’m insisting on selling this house, I’m insisting on my daughter moving with me…
And I’m still confused. Why does my ex even care about me moving? I don’t have anything to do with him anymore. We only have one child left to raise and he hasn’t exactly participated in that… Control? It tends to go back to that over and over again. I want control of my own life, and it appears he wants control over my own life too… I keep hoping it’ll finally end, that he’ll finally forget about me. He’s married again, why should he care what I do any more.
Still, I do have faith that this is all time limited. Time will smooth things and this will all be in the past where it belongs.
thank you for reading,